Hopefully, visitors to my site are smart enough to realize that this page is not supposed to be taken seriously. But if you decide to get offended by this joke of a page anyway, please direct all flames here.
1. Being called a Rickmaniac sounds better than being called a God Maniac.
2. You know for certain Alan Rickman exists.
3. Alan can look good in a greasy black wig. Can God?
4. People don't corner you at shopping centers, shouting, "Alan Rickman loves you!"
5. Alan Rickman won't punish you if you sin.
6. People don't fight each other in the name of Alan Rickman.
7. If you tell people you talked to Alan Rickman, they'll think you're cool. If you tell people you talked to God, they'll think you're nuts.
8. Missionaries for God go around the neighborhood distributing dusty old religious texts. Missionaries for Rickman go around the neighborhood distributing spanking new DVD copies of Harry Potter, Robin Hood, Die Hard, and Love Actually.
9. You have a better chance of getting a reply if you write to Alan Rickman, than if you write to God.
10. When you go see an Alan movie, no one comes up to you with little baskets, asking for donations.
11. On Alan Rickman's birthday (February 21) you celebrate by watching Alan movies. On God's son's birthday (December 25) you celebrate by buying Alan movies. Apparently Alan takes precedence.
12. Going to an Alan flick is a lot more fun than going to church.
13. You have to wake up early Sunday morning to go to church, but you can sleep in and catch an Alan movie in the evening, every day of the week.
14. If you tell people, "I'm going to Alan's house now," everyone would want to come with you. If you tell people, "I'm going to heaven now," no one would want to tag along.
15. Compared to God, Alan Rickman is still a youthful man.
16. News about God appears in print once every several centuries. News about Alan appears in print once every several days.
17. Hearing Alan's voice in your head constantly is a lot more enjoyable than hearing God's voice in your head constantly.
18. Alan looks better naked. (Watch Dark Harbor!)
19. Alan has a bigger wardrobe, compared to God's collection of white robes.
20. "Alan Sydney Patrick Rickman" is more fun to say than "God."
21. God can flood the world for 40 days. Alan can flood women's fantasies for 40 years. (Any bet takers on this one?)
22. You can come back home after visiting Alan's house. The same cannot be said about visiting God's house.
23. Compared to God, Alan is more down to Earth. (Haha, pun intended.)
24. God probably looks like Ian McKellen or Christopher Lee by now.
25. Alan has the ability to "call off Christmas." Thus, he can prevent God's son from being born. Dang, that's pretty powerful stuff.
26. Alan has less responsibilities than God. All the more time for you!
27. It's easier to carry around lightweight Alan Rickman DVDs than to carry around the Ten Commandments, which are written on two heavy stone tablets.
28. God can create a world in seven days. Alan can create a new fan within seven minutes of being onscreen.
29. When Alan speaks, girls swoon and melt at his feet. When God speaks (according to the movie Dogma) people's heads explode.
Back to The Slightly Weird Alan Rickman Fansite.